Malibooty

http://www.newyorker.com/reporting/2007/12/24/071224fa_fact?currentPage=all

Thinking now of a quote I read ...
"The author, then, started life as a line of bullshit and to bullshit the author has returned. Ashes to ashes."
--
So I drafted a plot (with appurtenances) of an Entourage episode. The highlights indicate the revised text. This is the version I got back from my editor. *sigh* The original text can be found below.

In a major role-reversal, Vince and the guys are crashing at Drama's place. While Turtle tries to identify the senior Chase's whacked-out health food - "What's a psyllium husk, anyway?" - the man of the house returns, offering bagels and good news. Donna Devaney, an L.A. party girl from Drama's surprisingly lengthy past, has finally agreed to hook up with him. Plus, she has a hot friend for Turtle. Vince and E aren't sitting so pretty with the Medellin cut, so E tries giving Walsh some notes to spruce up the film. Predictably militant about protecting his vision, Walsh won't cooperate, and making things worse, has already sent a print to the Cannes Film Festival. E runs to Ari for a solution and settles on the option to ditch Walsh by selling the movie to Harvey Weingard.

Vince rolls with his brother and Turtle, promising not to steal their thunder, and they couldn't be more thrilled when he hops out at a stop light to join a random hottie in a convertible. She takes him to the home of her "family friend" to go swimming, which turns out to be Dennis Hopper's beach house. Hopper and his buddies tempt Vince into placing a $100,000 bet - that he can't cover - on a soccer game. The future holds less uncertainty for Drama and Turtle; their cougars are ready to pounce. Too bad for Turtle, Donna's "hot" friend Marjorie is twice his age, not to mention twice his size. But, in a typical turn of Drama's luck, Donna decides at the last minute to opt for Turtle, leaving Drama manhandled by Marjorie in the hot tub. Vince's soccer win comes through, infusing him with some much-needed cash, but he and E still differ on the direction they want to take 'Medellin.' When E says Harvey made an offer of $25 million, Vince throws him for another loop: Cannes accepted the film. "Maybe you should watch it again," Vince tells him.

ORIGINAL:
In an obviously insincere and illegitimate turn, Vince and his team of seventh grade intellects decide to open and develop a non-profit shelter for the homeless. While Turtle tries to identify the first of several economic bubbles that led us down this highway of shit - "What's a subprime mortgage, anyway?" - the man of the house returns, offering bagels and good news. Donna Devaney, an L.A. party girl from Drama's pointless and vacuous past, has made a donation of six million dollars towards their organization's endowment. Plus, she has continuous income pouring down on her from her investments in Finance, Insurance and Real Estate. Well, not so much real estate. Vince and E aren't sitting so pretty with the tax cuts for the wealthy, so E tries giving Walsh some advice on how to live humanely and meaningfully in an increasingly disproportionate society. Historically militant about his increasing anxieties and dystopic vision, Walsh won't reason, and making things worse, has already lost hope in the power of reason and has begun speaking of the cult of reason's responsibility for world wars. E runs to Ari for a temporary, but material, solution to a metaphysical problem and settles on the option to read more and think more.

Vince, his brother, and Turtle drive up and down Sunset Blvd, handing out hot meals to the displaced and hungry, promising not to compound the problem of homelessness through the creation of a dependency on temporary aid. They couldn't be more thrilled when he hops out and approaches several local businesses, securing the written agreement of over 85% of the area to provide assistance, jobs and donate a portion of their profits to food/shelter/general care to those in need. A woman working for a 501C3 called Up From Office Chairs! asks Vince if he wants to collaborate on a fundraiser. She takes him to the home of her "family friend" to do some groundwork, which turns out to be Dennis Hopper's beach house. Hopper and his buddies tempt Vince into placing a $100,000 bet - that he can't cover (along with 98% of the world's population) - that Hillary's going to get the nomination and it's going to be HRC vs. McCain. He also bets him that McCain's only running so he can cross it off his Bucket List, once and for all. The future holds the same degree of uncertainty for Drama and Turtle (as it does for everyone, everywhere); their 'consciousness raising' San Diego Zoo Wild Cats of the Brush promotional exhibit is off and running. Too bad for Turtle, his "adopted" cat has fallen ill with a mysterious malady, not to mention has recently mauled one of the handlers. But, in a typical turn of Drama's luck, Turtle's cat pulls through and even ends up saving a small child who fell into the cage while his parents were arguing. The cat approached the child, licked his wounds and carefully carried him between his jaws to the outstretched arms of the zoo keeper and then to the hysterical mom and shell-shocked dad, leaving Drama to wonder about the theodicean nature of life. Vince's soccer win comes through, infusing some of the 30+ million Americans who have been left behind with some much-needed cash, but he and E still differ on the direction they want to see the next economic bubble manifest (Vince is calling for biofuels and the support of environmentally conscious venture capitalists). When E announces that through grant-writing exercises he was able to get a super grant from Verizon, valued at $25 million, Vince throws him for another loop: "We're all going to die someday." Vince stares in the distance. "Yeah," he ponders, "you're right. Maybe we should say fuck it and start a T-shirt company; our logo will be the Clinton generation children all grown up; ironically posing on all fours, pulling on their shirt sleeves (stained by that afternoon's hot lunch), doing a stag leap in a purple unitard and bifocals, opening their legs and drooling, lolling, rolling, staring into their camera phones, wide eyed and mesmerized by the spandex proletariat…"

amd